Volume 2, Issue 4, April 2023
Welcome to Volume 2, Issue 4 of The Root.
In order to support our growth, we require a strong network of roots. They anchor us and serve as a conduit for nutrients to help us develop and deliver on our goals.
This month, we focus on the topic of Giving. Are we Givers or Takers? If we are Givers, is there any value in our own growth, development and career success, or do Takers win it all?
Each month, I aim to highlight books, articles and/or podcasts related to the chosen topic. I hope you will find helpful information to identify and manage burnout before it overtakes your daily life.
Thank you for following along our journey to Aspire to Grow.
Check us out at www.aspiretogrow.co <the .com domain was taken, but I like to think of it as “.co” for co-create>.
Off the Shelf – My Book Pick
Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success, by Adam Grant
Do you ever work with someone who wants to win at all costs, or takes credit for all ideas, and treats every interaction as a win or lose situation? Do you find this to be a draining experience? I know I do. It took me a long time to realize I’m naturally a Giver. And that I could be a Giver and an effective leader.
While I typically like to feature women authors, I am featuring Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives our Success by Adam Grant, because after reading this, I can now see my “Giving” as a good thing. Grant mentions that successful people have three things in common: 1) motivation, 2) ability and 3) opportunity. That makes sense – but it’s not all good luck and hard work.
Grant reminds us of the 4th element of successful people. How they approach relationships with others is critical.
Takers and Givers
Most people like to give and receive, as part of our patterns of reciprocity. At the two ends of the spectrum of reciprocity are Takers and Givers.
As expected, Takers like to receive more than they give. In general, they like to win. To do so, they tend to put their own interests ahead of others (as mentioned above, some people can be Takers in certain situations and Givers at other times, but for this definition, we are considering someone who is 100% a Taker). We all know this person. Takers want to know what value you can bring to them or their goals. Not much else matters to them. But few people are 100% Taker oriented
Givers, on the other hand, prefer to give of themselves rather than take from others. The tend to be more focused on we vs. me and can be rather rare in workplace settings. They tend to be “other-focused” to understand how they can help others to achieve organizational goals. The difference is in the attitude and motivation in the workplace. Yale psychologist Margaret Clark says that most people are givers in close personal relationships.
There is a third style, called Matchers that can fluctuate between the two styles depending on the situation, the stakes and the players involved.
Why Give vs. Take?
You may reach points in time that you wonder, what good is being a Giver?
The Giver works for the greater good, and giving can actually start a ripple effect. And if you want others to win, chances are they will reciprocate the goodness to you and others.
It takes time to build trust, rapport and reputation as a Giver, but this lasts throughout one’s careers to build bridges that extend beyond your network. Grant reminds us that benefits of being a Giver is not good for immediate gratification, but the benefits last a long time and are often amplified.
Energy Through Networks
Social network analysis is used to determine how people are effectively working through the business ecosystem. Rob Cross and Andrew Parker were able to track the flow of energy across these networks, not just the information or connections.
In their research, Takers were seen as “black holes” who took up energy from those around them, while Givers gave energy and light around their network. They tended to give credit, share information and collaborate rather than withhold information and credit.
In many cases, these Givers are also building psychologically safe environments within their organizations to also increase sharing of ideas, sharing of learnings/failings and improving innovation.
Would the Taker in your corporate setting share any vulnerabilities to help others feel comfortable?
Giving as a Strength, Not Weakness
Great leaders as Givers can see that interdependence on others is a strength rather than a weakness. It is the belief that finding multiple points of view is a way to harness the skills of many for the desired outcome and value. It’s key to innovation.
But in order to protect ourselves and our energy from burnout, we can’t always be on the giving side. There are times when we protect our teams and ideas as leaders and may need to move toward the “taking” side.
In general, living by the “Givers Code of Honor” (created by comedy writer George Meyer), it’s important of us to:
- Show up
- Work hard
- Be kind
- Take the high road
By seeing what is best for the group’s greater good (rather than our own personal interests), we are not blinded by data or valuable insight. It’s known as the expedition behavior. It involves putting the mission and goals of the group before us.
From the Archives
Givers Take All: The Hidden Dimension of Corporate Culture,McKinsey Quarterly (April 2013)
Since most podcasts do not cover the topic of giving as a way of leading, I looked back at articles from years past. Givers take all: the hidden dimension of corporate culture was published in April 2013 (and was written by Adam Grant as a precursor to the book above). Grant summarizes that employers benefit when employees freely collaborate and share knowledge with each other:
- Solving problems and getting work completed faster
- Creating team cohesion and coordination
- Knowledge and skill transfer to employees
- Reducing performance variability
- Creating an environment where customers points of view are considered.
Giver vs. Taker Cultures
I appreciated that this article takes an organizational vs. individual view on Givers and Takers. The cultures are defined as follows:
- Taker Culture
- The norm is to get the most out of others, while giving less in return
- Giver Culture
- The norm is to help, share knowledge, offer mentoring and make connection without expecting anything in return.
- Matcher Cultures
- Most organizations fit in this category
- The norm is for employees to help those who help them
- Maintain and equal balance of give and take
So why don’t more companies design Giver Cultures?
Most companies are organized as winner takes all systems of performance. Grant calls this “zero-sum” competitions for rewards and promotions – when calibration and forced ranking systems are implemented, a culture is no longer oriented to be Giving.
What kind of culture is your company?
Are you able to create a Giving Subculture?
Mindful Moments
3-Minute Guided Meditation Script for Any Occasion by Victoria Weinblatt
These days, I find that we move from meeting to meeting to meeting without the opportunity to take a deep cleansing breath.
While this may seem odd, I’ve used this 3-minute medication script to open my team meetings or coaching sessions. It’s not long (I actually do this in 2 minutes).
I invite people to close their eyes (or turn off their cameras if in virtual meetings). As the reader, I can even feel myself relax and become reoriented.
If you are among friends, give it a try! 🌿
Continue to do great things.
You’ve made it to the end of April. In the northern hemisphere, spring is approaching, as well as allergy season! Stay hydrated, write down your weekly wins (no matter how small), get fresh air, and continue to do great things.
Sincerely, Kathleen
